she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
