I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
