Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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