I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it's like iHOP with fire
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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