so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize