I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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