I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
