I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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