Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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