she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize