and i looked up. we had an audience...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
