They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
