sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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