i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
