party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
