I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
