Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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