i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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