His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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