did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
