what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my liver is dry heaving
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
