Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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