I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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