actually, I'm a sock model
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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