I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
