Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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