I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
