It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
