That's intense
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
