Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
