he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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