it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
