Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
