so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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