does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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