he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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