can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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