if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
