Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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