ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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