Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My pussy is not your playground.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
