Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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