I cannot find my penis.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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