Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
