worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
