Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the liver wants what the liver wants
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
