so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
