I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
