They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
