Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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