Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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