ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
