I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
