And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
