That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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