I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize