I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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